One of my favourite dinner-time conversation starters is, ‘If you were told tomorrow that you’d been drafted for the Olympics and had 4 years to train, starting now, what sport would you go for and why?’ So in the blazing Olympic spirit that captivated all of us this summer, I’m giving the grid 4 years to train for LA2028 and then it’s time for us to see their true athletic ability.
The only question is…what sport would each driver compete in?
Red Bull
Source: iNews
Let’s be honest, Max Verstappen isn’t entering anything unless he has a genuine chance of winning. This man does not do anything by halves and he will tackle this challenge head-on and do whatever it takes to emerge with a gold medal.
With his lightning-fast reactions and fondness for racquet-based sports, I will be proposing Max Verstappen as a Dutch table tennis athlete. It would have to be in the Men’s Singles as he’s not blessed with the best reputation as a team player but give him four years and I think we could be surprised at his prowess in this category.
Source: Sports Illustrated
When I think of Sergio Perez, I think ‘reliable, dependable and steady’. He pulled wonders out of those midfield cars and he’s been a solid second driver for Red Bull, playing his role perfectly and capitalising on the occasional opportunity for a win. So what do you do with someone who’s quite steady but has the ability to go fast when given the chance?
You enter them in the 10,000m race.
This race takes some incredibly fast athletes and makes them run endless laps at an unnaturally quick jogging pace before they abruptly break into a panicked sprint at the end. I can’t think of a better comparison for a driver who is always in the leading pack but has to rapidly jump on the podium opportunities when they arise.
Strap your running shoes on, Sergio, the training starts now.
McLaren
Source: Motor Sport Magazine
Now, Lando’s all about the speed and the flash. He works his image on Instagram whilst pulling results out on the track. Exuding charisma and a personal touch, he knows exactly what his audience wants to see and he never backs down. Do you know who else does that?
One Mr Noah Lyles, recently-crowned 100m sprint Olympic champion.
The 100m sprint is one of the most hotly anticipated events of the entire Olympics. The winner can be assured of four years of golden glory with countless media opportunities and their name written into the history books - so basically an extended version of what the F1 World Champion gets.
While Lando creeps closer and closer to his chance at F1 history, there’s no harm in having the 100m sprint prep going on in the background. Norris and Noah…Lando and Lyles – this could be a battle for the ages in 2028.
Source: HT Auto
Oscar, on the other hand, is all about the calmness. He gives out chill, unbothered vibes, he keeps his head in the game and he gets on with his job, ignoring all the craziness around him.
That skill set makes him the perfect fit for literally any of the Shooting sports.
There’s a whole bunch; I don’t know all about the intricacies but put him into whatever category Yusuf Dikec (Turkish Olympics silver medallist) is shooting in and we’ll be in for the most exciting battle between the two most unbothered people.
Mercedes
Source: Small Steps Project
Lewis was a tricky one to decide as he has evolved so much as an athlete and role model over his time in Formula One. He’s synonymous with the sport of F1 so it’s hard to imagine him doing anything else. I mean, what sport do you assign to the GOAT?
My first thought was to have him train for the Breaking category. There’s nobody more stylish than Lewis Hamilton; each week, he graces the paddock with his latest designer fits and we are blessed to enjoy his fashion choices. He’s dabbled in rap and music production and he’s just so cool, there’s no way around it. I reckon he’s got some great moves that he breaks out at the Mercedes afterparties.
Sadly, Breaking will not be making a return to the LA2028 Olympics so I’m sending Lewis surfing instead. It’s not a sport he’s unfamiliar with and after four years of dedicated training, I think he’d have a shot.
He’s cool, calm and he loves the waves!
Source: Sky Sports
I don’t know about you but when I think of George Russell, I think of old money and generational wealth vibes. I don’t know if this is actually reflective of his family but his current style, social media, haircut and Tommy Hilfiger sponsorship all scream private school/old money/European rich boy.
Therefore, the only logical solution is for George to further tap into this energy and start training for the Equestrian events. There is a range for him to choose from but we’ll go poshest of the lot and enter George for the dressage event.
Saddle up!
Ferrari
Source: Ferrari
If Charles has proved anything over the last few years, it is that he is not afraid of an extreme sport. In his breaks from the fastest motorsport in the world, he apparently relaxes by scaling literal mountains of ice.
Therefore, Charles Leclerc is the obvious choice to represent Monaco in the chaotic Canoe Slalom.
This summer, the world was enraptured by this manic sport that sees athletes launched from a high platform into streaming rapids as they do 360 underwater spins, race around poles and bash each other around the head in a furious sprint to the end.
With Charles at the helm, maybe Monaco will see its first Olympic gold medal!
Source: Ferrari
Carlos is a very athletic person; there are a number of sports I can see him genuinely competing in. Maybe I’m biased by the pure dominance of fellow Spaniard Carlos Alcaraz, but I feel like Carlos Sainz could also have a calling in tennis. We see him playing Padel at every given opportunity so he’s already halfway there.
That being said, based on how he spent his summer break, I will be entering Carlos Sainz in the Golf category. Having just completed a tour around some of the most famous Scottish golf courses, he’s already well on his way to besting his future opponents. Whilst they all recover from the 2024 Olympics, he’s been putting the work in.
Don’t be surprised if we see another Netflix Cup featuring Carlos. He’s going to be taking every opportunity to maximise his training over the next four years!
Aston Martin
Source: F1 Chronicle
For being the oldest driver on the grid, Fernando Alonso is always surprising us with his strength, determination and cunning strategy. He knows the sporting world inside out and I get the sense that he’s always two moves ahead of his opponents…
So when looking for a sport that combined strength and strategy, I landed on the martial arts. I’m happy to enter Alonso into either Judo or Taekwondo as I think he would have the time of his life besting his opponents and getting the satisfaction of having tackled someone to the ground.
Considering how carefully he understands the motivations and driving styles of the drivers around him, I think he would study up on his opponents and know the perfect way to get in their heads.
Definitely a medal contender!
And to my favourite nepo baby, there is one sport and one sport only for the family-funded, good-looking rich lads and that is rowing.
This may be an English bias from me but the pipeline from the local rowing club to Oxbridge to the Olympics is a tale as old as time and 90% of the rowers I have met are very lovely, very hard-working, very undeniable nepo-babies.
Lance Stroll is a friendly, wholesome guy with a drive to succeed, a passion for excellence in sport, and a few billion dollars of family money behind him.
The rowers are gonna love him.
Haas
Source: Planet F1
What sport can you do that allows you to batter people and not get penalised for it?
Simple answer: Rugby!
For our favourite penalty-earner, the Rugby Sevens will be an exciting opportunity to play out some fierce competition and get his elbows out without attracting widespread criticism and a long rap sheet of time penalties.
Denmark didn’t manage to field a team for the Paris Olympics but with KMag running the show, they won’t even need the full four years to race to the top of the leaderboard before 2028.
Source: Formula 1 News
Have you seen the height of Nico Hulkenburg?!
He is one of the tallest drivers on the grid at a whopping 6 feet tall, which is crazy for a driver who has to fit into a very confined space multiple times a week. His legs must be cramping up all the time!
No, Hulkenburg’s calling is better placed for the Pole Vault and I will be entering him into the 2028 Olympics in that very category. You need strong, long legs to build up power and a relentless determination to succeed if you're willing to repetitively throw yourself into the air like that. With his long, difficult career, nobody is better placed than Hulkenburg to take on such a challenge.
Maybe it’s his chance to break the painful curse and finally get on the podium.
Alpine
Source: F1
I know exactly where I want to see Pierre Gasly and Esteban Ocon in the 2028 Olympics and that is in Fencing.
Specifically, I want them to fence each other.
Far from actually achieving any medals, I think this would just provide some closure to their decades-long squabbles, it would finally settle the athletic prowess competition they seem to have every time they get in their cars, and it would offer a great deal of entertainment to the rest of us.
I don’t even think we need to give them the four years to train; Alpine should just whack them in a room with a pair of swords and let them duel it out now!
Williams
Source: F1 Chronicle
I think Alex Albon has all the qualities required of a professional beach volleyball player: tanned, toned and tall!
He seems so chill and friendly, I bet he would have a great time hanging out at the beach and training. Having dragged every inch of performance out of the Williams cars over the last few years, we know he’s not someone who gives up easily and this would translate across.
There’s a big move to grow the sport of beach volleyball in Thailand right now and I’m voting Alex to lead the charge.
Source: Williams Racing
As a newbie to the F1 grid and an expert on filling in for Logan Sargeant last minute, Franco Colapinto will be competing in the sport I'd originally planned to enter Logan in: Lacrosse.
Logan is the quintessential American boy and so there seemed no other sport to enter him into other than lacrosse. I’m sure it’s a sport he has played at least once in his childhood and with a decent athletic background and speedy reactions, he could have actually been very good at it. Plus, lacrosse will be debuting at the LA2028 Games so it was going to be the perfect chance for Logan to explode onto the scene and claim some American glory.
But like many things in life, it was not meant to be and Colapinto can add Olympic lacrosse to the list of dreams he's currently taking over from Logan.
Perhaps as we see his talents emerge over the rest of the season, we may reconsider this one.
Visa Cash App RB
Source: Visa Cash App RB
For our Aussie cool kid, he’s going straight into Skateboarding.
With one of his closest friends, Scotty James, as a pro snowboarder, I’m sure they could work together to figure out the skateboarding details. At the 2024 Olympics, the skateboarding athletes looked like the most down-to-earth, chill competitors who were all just having the most amount of fun.
What else could be better for Danny Ric?!
Source: Visa Cash App RB
Now this is the one I’m excited about because as a former gymnast myself, I’m putting Yuki Tsunoda straight into Artistic Gymnastics!
Small yet mighty takes you a long way in this sport and with four years to train, I think Yuki could specialise on Floor, combining big tumbles with clean performance and additional flair skills. This is mildly inspired by Carlos Yulo, a Filipino gymnast who just won his country’s first gold medals at the Paris Olympics. He was not the largest gymnast by any means but with his own style and power, he came out on top.
Japan has raised some of the best male gymnasts in history and I think Yuki would bring his own unique flair to the team. Gymnastics is not a sport for the weak but I can see Yuki’s shining future ahead of him.
Sauber
Source: Planet Sport
Valtteri Bottas has a clear sporting advantage on his side because his partner, Tiffany Cromwell, is an incredible competitive cyclist. With her coaching, we could see Valtteri representing Finland in whatever cycling division he feels like entering.
He actually already spends a lot of his free time cycling with Tiffany so this isn’t too much of a stretch. Plus, with all the business ventures they’re involved in, we know he’d have the PR campaign locked down to gather up all the cycling sponsorships he could need.
Source: Autosport
And last but not least by any means, we’re ending with the wonderful Zhou Guanyu. After lots of consideration, I have decided that Zhou will be specialising in Archery for the 2028 Olympics.
Firstly, he’s calm and collected and you need a steady hand for archery. Secondly, the 2024 archers seem to have very cool style and that’s right up Zhou’s street; fashion is his passion alongside F1!
I will brook no argument, he’s destined for the bow and arrow.
Source: Silverstone
So what do you think?
How would our current grid fare at the 2028 LA Olympics?
Comments